It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize