he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
