I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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