alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
