I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
