You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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