I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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