"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
