Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
