David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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