I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
