Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize