Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize