that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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