seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
