I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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