in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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