cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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