absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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