dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
