Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
