her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
