Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
