Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
