fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize