A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
