wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
