He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
