At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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