He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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