Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Vodka?
Forever.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
