Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
