I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
