so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
