you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
