yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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