We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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