I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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