I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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