No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
