Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
