but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
