Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
