WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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