Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Non-Jews are for practice
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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