From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
