I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
