i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize