I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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