am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
