i just wanna soil my oats bro
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Panties = found
Randomize
