There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
