I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize