My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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