your parents love me but you hate me
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my being single is dangerous.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
