The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
