Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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